Sand tray therapy for adults tends to raise an eyebrow. A tray of sand, shelves of small figures, and an invitation to build something without explaining why. It sounds like something for children, and most adults in New York are fairly sure they have outgrown play.

If a therapist has suggested an EMDR intensive, you are probably somewhere between curious and already decided. Most people who reach me about this have a therapist they like, one specific thing that will not budge, and a practical question: what would this actually look like?

From the outside, everything works. You are the one who gets promoted, remembers the birthdays, plans the trips, and talks everyone off their ledges.

If the thought of telling your parents "no" makes your stomach drop, you are in good company. Learning how to set boundaries with parents, especially as an adult, is one of the most common things people bring to therapy, and one of the hardest to actually do. 

I was recently featured in Bustle’s “7 Signs You Have an Intense Emotional Bond With a Toxic Person.” Read below for my thoughts on trauma bonds and toxic relationships and a link to the article.